This morning I woke up, got dressed and went to a workout class. Something felt weird when I snoozed my alarm, but I figured it was just the Monday scaries showing up.
As I was sitting at breakfast I looked at my phone again, and realized what felt off.
Three years ago I got married for the first time.
As soon as I realized what was happening I braced myself for shame, regret and sadness.
But, those negative emotions didn’t come.
My solace in confusing times has always been books, so true to myself I picked up Rupi Kaur’s Milk and Honey, and flipped to a random page.
i thank the universe
everything it has taken
and giving to me
everything it is giving
It became very clear to me that what I feel towards my first marriage is gratitude.
My first marriage taught me just how important it is to put myself first and take care of my own heart.
It taught me that being vulnerable and honest with myself, even in the hard times, will only help me live out what’s true to my soul.
It taught me that living according to how I think I “should” instead of how I want to disempowers me from ever becoming who I’m meant to be.
And for that, I am grateful.
When you look back on something that felt so painful in your past, can you see the lessons?
Do you acknowledge yourself for living through the pits?
Are you grateful to the universe for taking everything it has taken and giving everything it has given?
I can see.
I do acknowledge.
I am grateful.