Less positive, More negative

Lately, I’ve been in a space where I’ve been struggling to produce and push content like I have in the past. I make this mean an array of things

There’s something wrong with me.
I’ll never be successful.
It doesn’t matter if I try — I won’t ever be able to break out into a new version of myself.

It’s defeating.

I see the mental spiral that I’m in.
I recognize it.
And yet, I’m struggling to reframe.

My coach always tells me: You’re going to feel negative 50% of the time.

So what is the lesson here for me?

I’m still learning how to accept negative emotions as part of my life experience.

I’ve intentionally worked towards removing things I used to buffer with — things I like to call empty brain calories.

What I don’t think I fully grasped until recently is that choosing to buffer less means choosing to feel more.

That means choosing to feel more of the brilliant.
The rewarding.
The present.

And…the negative.

In fact, choosing to cut the empty brain calories means choosing less instant gratification, which means choosing less hits of dopamine throughout the day.

I am still learning how to love my choice of more intentional dopamine hits.
I am still learning how to not make my negative emotions mean that there is something wrong with me.
I am still learning how to love myself *through* choosing what I really want.

Wherever you’re at in your evolution friend, please remember that sometimes becoming the person you want to be involves choosing less positive and more negative.

It involves less dopamine and more discomfort.
Less security and more what-the-actual-fuck-am-I-doing-with-my-life?